Just a brown girl

Ammi was the prettiest girl of her time. Apparently, all the boys in college would chase her around everywhere she went. That is why Ammi had to drop her studies and get married at an early age. Grandma tells me, that Papa was the smartest boy in the colony. A lot of girls were more than ready to marry him, but he chose Ammi. He confesses sometimes,  that he was taken aback by her beauty, and confirmed on the alliance just by seeing her picture. He recalls her to be tall, with beautiful eyes, a clear-cut profile, and skin so fair, as if made of milk. He usually gulps when he says “fair”; suddenly too aware of my presence in the room.

I have had a very strict skin care regime. I have an even skin tone, but in the darker shades of brown. So, I scrub my face with fruit pulps almost every day. I make sure to wash my face with curd or milk, mixed with a little turmeric. Grandma says it’s the most honesty remedy to get lighter skin. Ammi hopes, that perhaps puberty will work its charm on me, and I will turn “fair”.  Apparently not all the colors are made for me. If given a chance, I would love to wear a red lipstick, but it may not suit me. I still hold one in my purse though, just for the sake of it.

Today I had gone shopping with Ammi. My eyes fell on a beautiful yellow dress. In my case, yellow is forbidden, but I couldn’t help myself to try it out. Ammi gave a slight grunt but let me try anyways. I slide into the soft material and examined my reflection in the mirror. I felt the color glowing on my skin. I pulled my rubber band down and left my hair loose. I smiled adoring its neat and black shine. I pulled the red lipstick out of my purse and rubbed a little on my lips. Slightly tainting them. I walked out, confidently this time, and before Ammi could speak, declared “I look beautiful”. She knew, it wasn’t a question. She smiled, almost with apologetic eyes, “Yes. You always have been”. She confessed, sounding a little guilty. I bought the dress and left the show room. I took a deep breath and smiled over the newfound freedom from the insane cage of unfair beauty standards.